Where you know you should be in bed, but you just can’t go.

22 Jul

I always say I’m a night owl. Then, when people realize that I have to sometimes start my day by waking up at 4:30 am, I always get asked how that works. Let me just say it: It doesn’t. It fails miserably.  But, I do it. Time and time again.

I love the night. I’m not sure if it’s the star-gazing I was able to do as a kid living in a very rural environment or not. I mean, I love star-gazing. I love looking up, finding constellations, and imagining what other worlds are out there. Are they very cold? Warm? Are there mean, nasty, skinny, leathery gray alien dudes just waiting to stick a probe up somewhere I wouldn’t like just in the name of their world’s science on some of those planets? Or, are they furry? Blobs of goo?

Those are the obvious. I also love looking at the stars because, let’s face it, I love history and the past. I love looking up, seeing the Big Dipper, or Orion, or any of the other constellations and realizing that back in Ancient Rome, Ancient Greek, Ancient Egypt, some guy or gal stood up there and saw pretty much what I see. There’s something about that which humbles you. You’re not the center of everything. No one is.  It all goes on. Someone, a hundred years from now, will look at the sky and it will appear much the same as now. Except I won’t be here. And, maybe, like me, they’ll wonder what someone from MY time, from OUR time, thought when staring at the sky.

I love the quiet of night. In truth, there are less idiots out there roaming around at night because they’re all asleep! That’s a really good thing!

And, more importantly to me, I tend to just write better at night. Maybe it’s something as simple as the fact that I am relaxed later at night and can let my mind take over, but I do my best writing at night. I always have. I probably always will.

But, I also work a job that sometimes requires me to be up super early.Sometimes, this is by choice, but at others, it is simply the necessity of the workplace. I do that because, of course, jobs are good and money pays bills and puts a roof over your head. Even tonight: I’m writing a blog post at 12:15am. I will be on my way to my job in less than 5 hours. For the most part, I’ve been awake since 4am Saturday  morning. It’s now 12:15am Sunday morning. Am I tired? No. My brain is still going, my body’s still pumping out ideas, and that urge to write, to chat, to spend my night doing anything but sleep is fighting a lot with the logic that, um, DUH, I have to be up in under 5 hours.

So, here I am. Writing a blog post when I know I should be “normal” and sleeping.  Thinking, day dreaming, wishing, hoping, missing people when I should be dreaming in the SLEEP sense.

Another sleepless night…another batch of wondering. They do always say it: You can sleep when you’re dead.

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Posted by on 07/22/2012 in Uncategorized


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