Oh, you’re working? Why don’t you let me sit down to a therapy session?

10 Apr

So, as I pursue my quest to find myself some time to go after this thought called normality, I am accosted by all sorts of things that ding the question part of my brain into attention. Do I really need this to happen? No, but it does. Because that is the fun of life. It does what you absolutely do not want it to just because it can.

The one thing that amazes me the most is how the average person looks at someone who works the service industry and automatically assumes it’s time for a therapy-like download. I don’t get it. When the hell did it become normal to download your life’s drama onto the nearest living vessel?

I guess I’m a good listener. I guess this because I find myself so often in that position. I don’t ask for it, and most of the time, if you’re a friend or someone I know, I don’t mind. I get it. We all need someone to vent to. Sometimes the people we have in our life that we see very often are sick of listening to it. Sometimes, we just want someone to care. Someone outside of our normal circle. Someone who doesn’t have to, but still tries. We all want it. Sometimes, it’s the only thing that helps. But, why does that have to be someone who is sitting behind a counter?

Last week, I was working. Doing my job. Some dude walks up, states that he doesn’t want to take my from my job, but proceeds to do so simply because, well, he had a problem. There was this girl. She was okay, but obviously, by the way this guy talked, wanted an actual relationship. She wanted to talk, communicate, actually get to know this guy. He wants to know how to get her to shut up. So, he asks his nearest service professional for the answer.

He likes her. But, doesn’t want to talk to her. Wants to date her, but not talk to her. ALARM ALARM. Basically, in my experience, this is language akin to, “I want to bang her, but not date her.” He’s asking for advice on how to keep her strung along for the booty call, but not for the dating part. Seriously? In what world do you ask some random person this question? I’m sorry: I don’t understand why I’m supposed to help you get laid?


That’s not a service we provide.


Seriously, people. Those people behind the counter aren’t your counselors. We’re not paid to make sure you’re stable, and while we strive to be nice, we’re not striving to be Relationships 101. I’m not here for dating advice. Plus, you’re kinda creepy asking me to help you deceive someone else because talking is annoying.

Guess what? So is your assumption that I’m here to help you get laid. Have fun with that thought.


Posted by on 04/10/2013 in work


Tags: , ,

4 responses to “Oh, you’re working? Why don’t you let me sit down to a therapy session?

  1. Becki

    04/10/2013 at 08:51

    I love the way you made such an annoying issue (I remember having to be the listener myself) into something that made me laugh and laugh and laugh 🙂 I love you!

    • Lauren L. Canfield

      04/10/2013 at 16:38

      I think, “That’s not a service we provide” is my new tagline for life. I think every time I’ve used it at work, I’ve had coworkers laughing. Must be my tone. haha.

  2. unsweetenedtea

    04/10/2013 at 14:35

    I think some people are way more inclined to be told crazy stories of insanity. I’m pretty sure my “I couldn’t possibly care less about this topic” face translates, somehow, to “Oh, please tell me more.”

    • Lauren L. Canfield

      04/10/2013 at 16:35

      Oh, I have one of those faces as well. But, some of these situations are special, I swear.


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