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Posting commencing shortly…minor hiccup in the works.

A few writing thoughts have infiltrated my brain lately, but as I’ve been dealing with a lot of family and work issues (the family issues of which I’ve attempted to write a post about 12 times. No, I’m not exaggerating. 12 is the times I’ve opened the document I started last month), I’ve been reluctant to write in a state of stress and unhappiness.

So, I’ve spent the past couple of months trying to comprehend why things work out the way they do, why I’m obsessive the way I am, and why I wrote poetry as much as I used to. I can’t say I’ve found the answers to those things, but maybe that’s the point. I am a questioning sort; what fun is it if the questions get answered?

I spent last night going through my writing files and digesting some of my poetry. This is a good and bad thing. Good because it inspires me and gives me hope that I’m not a total hack when it comes to writing. Bad in that I regret that I’ve somehow lost that momentum and inspiration I had to just write whenever the mood came upon me. Some of the last few posts here have concerned themselves with writing of the past, and I’ve longed to come up with something new, but failed.

In a couple days, I’m going to work up the courage to write about my sister. It’s not going to be easy. In fact, the last 12 times I’ve attempted to write a post before this one, I’ve ended up in tears and abandoning the document. While I think a facebook post detailing, briefly, the sentiment I feel when thinking of my sister helped say what I wanted to then, as the weather turns colder and the holidays approach, those thoughts won’t suffice. I think I will need to say what’s been swimming in my head, and here is my outlet.

The bonus in all of this comes from the fact that I had the courage to open some dusty files and have those seductive writing thoughts I pushed away. Perhaps this time I won’t lose it so quickly.

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Posted by on 11/10/2014 in Uncategorized

 

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I’m Baaaack!

If someone were to ask me if I wished I was ten years younger again, I would probably answer yes. Not for the typical reasons people give. I don’t have a ton of regrets, and if I did change a thing or two, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I kinda like me. 

But, I would go back for one reason: I never seemed to have a lack of energy to write. There was always a story idea, poem, or novel to work on. There was always some crazy concept lurking in the back of what I have as a brain to delve into and explore. I always seemed to have something to say, and unfortunately, the folly of youth made me believe I had the wisdom to share it. Especially when I was wrong.

I miss writing. Writers talk about writer’s block and running into a point where they cannot progress on a story. I feel like I cannot make any progress on anything. It’s not just my fiction. It’s everything. I always have things to say. I actually say them out loud, in a way entirely different than I ever intended, far more than I write anything down. This is the complete opposite of who I’ve always been. I miss it. I miss it a lot.

People say that you just have to write, even if it’s crap, to keep yourself writing. I don’t want to write crap. I sit down, I attempt to write, and if it sounds crappy, I stop writing. I’m not in the craft to make crappy stories. I’m not enjoying forcing myself to write things I hate just so I keep in a habit. Unfortunately, that also means very little writing gets done.

I miss being young and staying up late. I used to write until 3 or 4 in the morning, propelled by this awesome dialog racing in my mind, and the visions prompted by my character’s surroundings. I used to chat with friends and family online with a word processing document open, words piling up on the screen, working together to make one of those awesome sentences that you read and wonder if you even wrote that amazing stuff.

I want that back. Who knows if I’ll get it back, but I’m sure as heck going to try. If I can’t churn out my stories like I want, I will try to at least write some blog entries.  Hold on: Bumpy roads ahead.

 
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Posted by on 06/20/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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